I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
