I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
