"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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