found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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