No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
