What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
