I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize