Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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