It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize