so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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