After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
