Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
