it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
