Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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