I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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