If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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