we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
