You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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