I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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