that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
