Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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