so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
