im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
