Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
