ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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