I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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