Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
