my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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