we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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