if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Are we in a gay sports bar?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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