she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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