on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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