But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
