My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
