Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
