Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize