Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
