90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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