Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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