I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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