On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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