First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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