we have officially lost it.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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