okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
