no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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