Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
