Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
