1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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