I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
