so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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