is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
