Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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