Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
