who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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