my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
