I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
