we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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